Well I found myself today shivering in the fetal position wrapped in 3 blankets, wearing the heaviest wool sweater a Phoenician has ever even considered, when I realized I should probably go see the doctor so he could let me have it. I drove over to the “InstaCare” center closeby. Luckily there were only a few people there ahead of me. By the time I was seen, there were about 5 or 6 guys around my age, all sounding and looking pathetic. I went back to the doctor and here are the diagnoses:
Doctor’s diagnosis: 103 temp, serious flu. He told me I should be expecting to “feel pathetic” for a about a week. And it started about Friday of last week, so hopefully 7 days is it.
Julie’s diagnosis (and this is a direct quote): “You’re just plain pathetic.”
I love my wife dearly. She can call me pathetic anytime she wants as long as she lets me feel pathetic every once in a while. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sick before.
Abigail and Grace both had something similar last week, so I probably got it from them. Grace still has quite the runny nose. She’s licked and wiped her upper lip so much that she has a red moustache from the chaffing. We told her that we were going to take a picture of her, but she thought we were making fun of her. You’ll just have to imagine.
Lucy started feeling sick probably Sunday afternoon. She has this thing about throwing up. We used to ask her if she needed to “spit” because that’s the only way she really understood it. So we’re trying to transition from “spit” to “throw up” (much classier, I know, but what do you say?). Anyway, she tells us about 4 times a day that she needs to throw up. She’ll go in the bathroom in front of the toilet, open her mouth, and expect something to happen. If she didn’t look so pathetic, it might be pretty funny.
Gwenyth is as cute as can be. Julie goes crazy about the little ones at 10-11 months, so she can’t get enough of her. She’s starting to clap her hands and wave bye. She is pretty cute, I must admit. It’s dangerous at this age, because it makes Julie want more . . .
So if any of you have contacted me and I haven’t yet responded, please know that it’s par for the course: I’m pathetic. Yes, Michael, you’re right. There is no one waiting for a response. But it helps me feel important.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Abraham Lincoln (I am profound, thank you): “If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.”